Purp & Omni's Vacation
by Omnisaurus
Summary: Omni and Purp take a quick vacation to the world of Pokemon! However, upon meeting one of the natives of that universe, Omni introduces to Purp to one of his horrible, awful inventions. Things just go downhill from there...


It was a beautiful day in the Sinnoh region. The Starly were singing, the Combee were buzzing, the Kricketot were chirping and the Bidoof were busy being one of the most useless Pokemon in all of existence. To sum it up, it was a pretty peaceful day...

"INCOMING DUMBASSES!"

Up until Omnisaurus came riding through an interdimensional portal on a meteor that he had trapped Purp inside of and crashed into a patch of tall grass. Then that day got considerably less peaceful, especially when it started raining patches of upturned earth, flaming grass bunches and burning chunks of a few unfortunate Bidoof.

"Ah, finally some vacation time!" Omni said with a wide smile, examining the area as if he hadn't just blown up a number of rodent Pokemon. "A good three months of relaxation without having to worry about responsibilities. Isn't it great Purp?"

A series of muffled noises originated from the meteorite underneath Omni, sounding quite furious. And for good reason…

"Oh yeah, I forgot that I knocked you out with a baseball bat and stuffed you in a meteor. Don't worry bud, I'll get you out of there in no time!"

Omni teleported away from the meteor before he began to will the meteor encasing Purp to vanish from existence. That proved to be unnecessary though since the large wyvern-like creature ended up making the space rock exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere and creating a large booming sound to reverberate around the area.

Little did he know, it caught the attention of someone nearby. Although that's for a little later...

"Great, you're out!" Omni said happily, ignoring the absolutely _livid_ look the purple Rathalos gave him. "Now I know you probably wondering why we're on vacation here-"

"**WHAT THE FUCK?!**" Purp interrupted as he yelled in a demonic voice, his eyes glowing a dark red. "**DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW STUFFY IS INSIDE OF THAT BLASTED ROCK?!**"

"Not really, no. I thought I added air conditioning in that meteor though."

"**AIR CONDITIONING DOESN'T DO SHIT AGAINST THE HEAT OF ENTERING AN ATMOSPHERE!**"

"I guess you're right. Anyways, it's vacation time Purp! We've been working too much-"

"You haven't updated Shapeshifter of Kuoh in three months and Daily Life of an Alien Superhero in almost a month," Purp said with a sweatdrop.

"-so I decided to bring us to one of the many Pokemon universes within this particular Multiverse, specifically the one that is pretty much a parallel of Pokemon Diamond & Pearl."

"I've only played Heartgold and the games onwards from Black 2."

"Just for this occasion, I've developed a very special type of pokeball for the exclusive use for you and I. With this ball, the possibilities are limitless! With these pokeballs, I'll be able to create the greatest team that the Sinnoh region, no, the entire world has ever seen and possibly will ever see!"

"...Great. Can I go home now?"

"No! We're having vacation time! Now transform into a human like I am so that we can go on a Pokemon adventure and create teams with me," Omni said as he started shrinking and compressing in size & stature, losing his dinosaurian features as he became a human so as to not stand out.

"I'd rather not," Purp replied, looking at the omniverse-traveling dinosaur turned human.

"Do it!"

"I refuse."

"Don't make me call you a dragon!"

"I'm going to act out of character for the sake of this argument and not care about that."

"I'll tell our readers _that_."

"...You wouldn't."

"I would. Now turn into a human with me so we can embark on a wondrous & magical adventure to stop Team What's-It's-Face by fighting them with magical creatures that, despite having proven to be sapient beings multiple times over, are allowed to be captured by people!"

"No! This is bullcrap! This is extortion!"

"I'll create a vanilla frappuccino as tall as you are and let you drink it if you join me."

"...fine," Purp finally relented, slumping a little in defeat but not being too bummed out about it. After all, giant frappuccino. "I'll go along with you on your...what just bounced off my back?"

Turning around, Purp saw a girl with long blue-hair, grey eyes and white skin standing at the treeline with a blue penguin-like avian at her side. She wore a red skirt, pink boots and a white beanie with a pink pokeball logo on it. The girl carried a white duffel bag and seemed to be excited to see Purp, as if she wasn't afraid that a giant, purple, multi-ton, carnivorous wyvern was now staring right at her.

Purp blinked in confusion before remembering that this world was basically a Pokemon game; when people lost to wild Pokemon here, they weren't killed and instead just blacked out and lost some money. Seeing as how that was relatively low-risk, that probably encouraged people to approach the dangerous wildlife of the world since, even if they lost, they wouldn't get hurt or killed.

'_Wait a minute_' Purp thought to himself. '_If this is a Pokemon world, does that mean she just threw a-_'

"Pokeballs aren't working," the girl muttered to herself. "I'll have to weaken it. Piplup, use Pound!"

"What?" Purp asked, slowly catching on to what was happening.

"Pip lup-up-up!" the blue bird said as it hurriedly ran towards the wyvern before stopping before his massive legs and smacking them with his flippers to no avail. The wyvern was currently torn between laughing at the scenario and being offended for being attacked out of the blue for just minding his own business.

Seriously, who just attacked large, potentially dangerous animals for...oh yeah, right. Pokemon.

"Um…" Purp said, looking down as Piplup continued to fruitlessly attack his leg before meeting Omni's gaze. "Should I do something or-"

"Yeah, just a moment man," Omnisaurus said, materializing a green backpack from out of nowhere. He quickly started searching through it for something. "Just distract them. Use Flamethrower or something, I dunno."

"Alright," Purp said with a shrug before looking at the now retreating Piplup. Taking a deep breath in, Purp allowed the warmth of fire to build up within his chest. His eyes landed upon the bird before he breathed outwards to expel the inferno he had built up inside. Piplup's eyes widened before a wall of flames washed over it. When the flames died down, there was no sign of the avian anywhere. Just a patch of black ash.

"Holy shit!" Purp swore, taking a step back in shock like the girl did. "I didn't mean to incinerate the poor bird. Gosh, that's fucked up!"

"Found it!" Omni cried out in victory as he held a pure white pokeball with a red H engraved on the top of it. Littering the ground around the zany reality-shifter were the following that he had pulled out from his bag: several dozen chocolate bars, several chocolate milk packs, an AK-47, a Nintendo Switch, the Omnitrix, a capsule containing the Omega Nanite and half a dozen Master Balls.

"Found what?" Purp questioned curiously.

"That special pokeball that I created for just this vacation! Purp, I introduce to you the Homo Ball!"

"...So you're going to capture homosexual Pokemon with it?"

"Not that Homo! I meant Homo as in the genus _Homo_."

"Oh, okay. That makes slightly more sense," Purp said, nodding for a moment before realizing what that meant. "Wait, you mean-"

"Yes Purp! In simpleton terms, this is a Human Ball!"

"..."

"..."

"...Words fail me Omni. Words fail me."

"Excellent!"

"That's not a good thing."

"Now, to make my first capture!" Omni exclaimed as he walked out from behind Purp and towards the still stunned girl with an unsettling smile on his face. Sensing what his friend was about to do, the massive wyvern decided to try and convince Omni not to capture his own would-be capturer if he was both weak & a Pokemon.

"Omni, think about what you're doing."

"Beginning a harem."

"Capturing and using other sapient beings for your own benefit or enjoyment is wrong."

"We're in a world where that is literally what people encourage and accept."

"She's probably ten or something."

"Is she though? She looks like she could be in her mid to late teens."

"...Nothing I say is going to make you change your mind, is it?"

"No," Omni replied without looking back, throwing the Homo Ball towards the girl. The girl didn't have time to react to the object flying towards her before it bonked her on the head. All she could do before she was sucked into the ball was give a bewildered blink before she was sucked inside.

"Please don't tell me this'll actually work," Purp said, staring at the ball as it fell to the ground.

One shake.

"This was a good idea," Omni said in happiness.

"This was a horrible idea," Purp said in disagreement.

A second shake.

"You know this is going to come back and bite you in the ass later, right?"

"Probably," Omni agreed with a shrug. "But hey, at least I have a method to get my own harem now instead of just writing about pre-existing characters getting harems."

A third shake.

"Please bust out," Purp pleaded the Homo Ball.

"If she tries to bust out then I'm gonna place my hand over the top so that it can't open," Omni revealed to the wyvern. "So long as it doesn't open within three seconds of the third shake, she can't escape."

A click sounded.

"I hate you," Purp said, turning his head to glare at Omni with unadulterated disgust. "You're a scumbag worse than Minoru Mineta from My Hero Academia."

"Probably~" Omni sang happily as he skipped over to the now-still Homo Ball. "But I don't care. Why? Because I got myself a way to capture hundreds of waifus!~"

Once Omni grabbed the Homo Ball, black text appeared out of midair and in front of the dinosaur turned human. Purp, at this point of time, had run out of words and just resigned himself to read what had appeared.

**Gotcha! DAWN was caught!**

**DAWN's data was added to the Waifudex.**

**Give a nickname to the caught DAWN?**

"...I'm done. I'm going home."

"If you go home then I won't give you your frappuccin-"

"A giant frappuccino is not worth all of this trouble. I'm going home and going to bed and that's final."

"Well what if I-"

"NO! Story is over. I'm going to bed.

A swirling purple portal appeared before Purp, one that led directly to the home that he and Omni shared with one another. With a flat look on his face, the purple Rathalos lumbered through the portal; he just needed to get to his room, collapse on his bed and forget that the last five minutes of his life had ever happened. It would be easier for him that way.

"Fine," Omni grumbled to himself before he pulled out a map of the Sinnoh region from his back pocket. "More waifus for me then! Now, where is the Pokemon League in relation to here?"

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**Disclaimer: no Bidoofs, Piplups or Pokemon universe girls were harmed in the making of this short story.**

**I decided just to write this earlier today for fun and LOLs. I'm pretty happy with it.**

**During a conversation with a friend, my friend joked about people catching other people in Pokeballs. I thought of how that would work and with me being a big fan of ecchi and harem anime...well, it was only a matter of time before I made this. Got Purp to co-write this with me. Hope you all enjoyed it.**

**Pls forgive me audience.**

**And for those people who are wondering (none of you probably are if I'm being realistic though), my team of Sinnoh game girls would be (in alphabetical order): Candice, Cynthia, Dawn, Gardenia & Maylene. I couldn't think of one other.**

**I'd also probably also catch Jupiter & Mars and leave them in the PC just cause they're assholes but that's not important.**


End file.
